Ramblings of a Model, Mother and Outspoken Weirdo

The title of my blog is a bit on an in joke between me and my boyfriend which is fine because this blog is all about him...well us.

So he is a photographer type which kinda results in us very rarely having any pictures of us together. I think before I put the images on Facebook yesterday there were only 25 pictures of us together, which is pretty sad considering we have been together for almost 8 months.

We did a shoot last week together at Bolbec Hall with John, the same fella who did my yellow dress, corset, window shots. I feel very comfortable in that studio it doesn't have the weird sort of clinical you're being watched vibe I get at other ones. Just thought I would share with you my favourite and Nick's favourite. I think they document our love quite well, we are atypical, kooky and non standard it's one of the things I love the most about us.

So I know I have shared some images from a shoot I did last month with a photographer in Sunderland, I am not going to name him now or anything. I signed a model release form basically saying he could do anything he wanted with the images, post them anywhere, they were his yadda yadda, yadda.

I received the first to images from him the one I posted in my last blog, they were pretty nice, obviously he'd done a bit of work on me which is cool, I don't have particularly good skin and one of the images was meant to be a homage to Elvgren.

I have also received other images such as this one which I really like.

I am a size 10/12 lady, I am comfortable with that, I have grown to accept most of my body for what it is I am reasonably confident and pretty happy. I have a man who loves me and I don't even think it is my appearance he is particularly attracted to anyway. I was very disappointed to receive the image below. I don't look like me, I look about 3 stone lighter and apart from that I look sort of hideous. I was a smidge on the offended side, it's not like I said "Oi mate I carry a bit of weight on my arms could you make me a bit slimmer" he made the decision to lob the weight off me. I don't look like me, I barely look human, it looks like a genetic mistake. I will also add the guy was lovely and I was at ease shooting with him, it's not like the shoot wasn't a pleasant experience because when I was there it was great, productive and comfortable.

I know I previously said I like working with my boyfriend because he captures the essence of Dani, I can't expect all photographers to do this but what I can expect is for them to leave a bit of me in there or what is the point. I can't use this image it's useless to me, all I can do is stipulate in the future that I don't want to be turned into some lollipop head.

Got back from Nick's today not going to see him for over two weeks now, which is uber sucky, we'll deal though we always do. We seem to spend our lives arranging to visit each other, or talking about/ complaining about public transport. Here's me and Nick at a train station, I kinda feel that this era of our relationship will have a nickname in the future. I am trying really hard not to think that far ahead. but it's hard when all you see is essentially fog. Oh well Amor Vincit Omnia! I know it will all come good in the end, with my iguana, red kitchen and Baltic inspired floor.

.......a 21st Century love story brought to you by Myspace and Facebook....

A couple of weekends ago me and my loverman, Nicholas Gray attended SuperGay 2010, I had an amazing time, firstly it was kinda nice to watch Nick shooting an event the only other time I have done it was at a burlesque evening and I was the ragged side of tipsy. Supergay was an great experience of colour, soooo bad it was good music and it just had a really fab atmosphere. I really hope I am able to attend next year, you can check out Nick's images of this event on his Flickr. Oooh in fact while you are there have a goosey at his Tattoo Jam pics and see if you can spot divine model Loula Cherry!

If you have a minute you should check out the Gallery of all the images from the Daisy Stays group shoot which took place in County Durham mid August shot by Richard Shepherd. It had been planned months in advance and there had been a lot of expectation on the day. I had to get up really early to get the metro from Sunderland up to Sharon's place to get all dolled up!

I got to rock two items of delight! One black and white underbust corset and an Oriental styley one which I am in love with and very keen to use for another shoot. I am currently customizing my black corset for my burlesque debut in Sunderland on the 15th of October, shall bore you with the details in a later blog! :)

There was some also quality candid shots taken on the day! Gonna show some love for my homegirl Ellen, one where I am doing some amateur MUAing on her purdy face and another when it looks kinda like I am bumming her! Couldn't have got through 2010 without her, she had administered both hugs and slaps when I have needed them.

I have that vintage shoot tomorrow going to have a practice with my hair today and then I get to visit the the love of my life on Friday, everything is tickety boo.

Few shoots behind in my blog so I will try and crank them out in the next few days. I had a shoot on 25th of August with a guy called Dave, he doesn't have a website and I didn't ask him for his surname but trust me his name was Dave.

For this shoot I filled my bag with vintage dresses (mostly my Able Grable gear) and headed to Tanfield Railway, Causey Arch, County Durham. This shoot was done about 3 days after my boyfriend had made his decision to leave me up here in the North East and it would be fair to say I was miserable and devastated and it showed in every single picture I received from this shoot, I really hope it wasn't a waste of time for the photographer.

Here are a couple of my faves from the shoot, away from the railway itself there were some totally amazing old, disused, rusty engines! I would love to do another shoot down in that part. I wanted to do some uber pin up implied topless shots but I wasn't in the right frame of mind and also my hair had fallen over by this point.

I love this shot, and I love my Wicked Lady! And the red was just shimmering in the sunlight. (Would love this frock in Olive or Gold!)

This is a shot of new favourite cord and tweed lingerie set from amazing Lilly Wiggler Couture, always a pleasure dealing with this lady! She is an absolute star :)

Finding long distance thing unbelievably difficult, it's just constant paranoia and worry. I only take comfort in sniffing something that's his and even then sometimes it makes me worse. I love him very much and know we can make it work, I will struggle to find another Nicholas Gray, someone who makes me laugh all the time and loves me for the fact I am insane, not despite it so I guess I will just have to deal with the current situation until we buy our castle...ooh actually spaceship and shed for my Iguana and this shitey few months is just a distant memory.

Should do some blogging about me I guess...

Me and my offspring are safely settled in Newcastle, my son enjoys school and my daughter is ready for school. They are adjusting to everything really well, we have plenty of laughs. I actually get out with them, take them places. It's nice to be able to do that because there is stuff to do and places to go. I feel pretty good about my maternal skills package.

In other news I have a boyfriend. He is utterly odd and weird like me but he makes me happy and he makes it feel ok that I am as freakish as I am. He has kinda filled a little hole that I barely knew existed, but now it has been filled I am more of an entire human being. I am very much in love and ever so happy. Just unfortunate I don't get to see him all that often.
Doing a shoot on Thursday and have a gazillion lined up for August! I am very excited about it all. I decided not to post up any of my art nude ones, apart from anything else I don't think it's anyone should want to see or should see. I got all my pics back from my shoot with Grahame Jenkins I can't really decide which one I like best but I quite like this one because I look genuinely scared.