Ramblings of a Model, Mother and Outspoken Weirdo

I have been so out of touch with my blog lately, I started doing a T-shirt blog and of course had the kids driving me insane for six weeks of Summer. I am back to brunette now but I did enjoy some time as a blonde and here are some images taken of me whilst I was blonde!

I did two shoots with Jonathan Keys in my time as a blonde, the second shot on 5x4 which MUA assistance of Josephine Birkett

I haven't been blogging about my burlesque much, I find the modeling easier to talk about.

On the 1st of May, the day after the vintage fair I went to, I performed in Leeds, I did my 'Physical' act and my Rocky Horror act. Met some interesting people, had some funky stalls there too. Venue was quite big and interesting. Lovely lass called Penny Sweets had her burlesque debut and she was absolutely amazing, she did two acts and you couldn't tell she was nervous at all. Pretty good craic behind stage too, and the audience were awesome.

I really enjoy doing my Physical act, my costume looks a bit crap in comparison to the other lasses behind stage but it serves a purpose and I think it's more upbeat than a lot of classical acts. Not to everyone's taste but I enjoy getting up on stage and spanking the place. I shall be performing it at the next Gully's and Casa Bellini then I will give it a rest until it's requested again.

I then performed at the Durham Shadow Gallery last month too, it was a quiet gig, good atmosphere though, just a shame that the dressing rooms are directly behind stage and you don't get to see the other performances. My homegirl Daisy Stays was the highlight of that evening in my opinion, I also wore one of her creations for my 'Cosmic Girl' balloon pop.

Shepy also too this pretty cool of me doing 'Physical' I was worrying that the blonde would look rubbish on stage but I think this is one of my favourite performance images of me

So couple of months ago, when I still had my beautiful purple mane, I did a shoot with Chris Harrison, I had been wanting to shoot with him for almost two years and it was nice to finally get the chance. It was a very very hot and the sun was super bright!

He also brought with him lovely guy and inspirational photographer Anthony Dorman who's work I adore.

We just mooched around the city centre, just kinda trying to find appropriate places for the clothing I'd brought. There is a massive sculpture made out of shopping trolleys that I had wanted to use but sadly it was just too sunny and we couldn't find an angle that worked. In the end we shot in a tunnel by the train station where I was getting evils from taxi drivers.

We also headed down at the old leadworks. It's kinda creepy down there, there is a homeless guy that lives there and there was quite a lot of poo, pigeons and abandoned items of clothing. It had quite a sinister feel but it was a lovely place to shoot and totally worked for my gear.

Here are my favourite 3 images from the shoot

On a completely different note I have just got a new blogging gig at massive T-shirt blog 'Hide Your Arms' blogging my favourite t-shirt company. Threadless, bi-weekly. I have only done two blogs but I am totally loving it! This is my last blog for them http://hideyourarms.com/2011/06/16/reprints-threadless-week-16062011/already looking forward to doing another one later on today. Me and the boyfriend got a t-shirt the same from the website and we're gonna try and take a pic tomorrow.

So at the back end of April I went to 'The Festival of Vintage' York Racecourse, probably the largest vintage fair I have been too, lovely venue, lovely atmosphere, just had a lovely few hours sauntering around fingering stuff I couldn't afford, imagining myself in all the stunning frocks and damning myself to Lucifer for not being a 26" waist. I was officially there assisting my partner Nicholas as he documented the event. He got some fab images which you can view on his Flickr page and some are to be featured in Vintage Life magazine which you can subscribe to! :)

I set myself a budget, like you have to do with these things or you go on a mental vintage binge and can't actually afford to eat at the end of the month and that's no good for anyone. I am totally into my bright colours, but essentially I need something that fits well and I am likely to wear regularly or shoot in and resell. I am so glad I tried everything on at this event, the ladies in the loos were sweethearts, everyone zipping each other up and keen to give their opinions. It's just nice to see women, all shapes and sizes celebrating vintage finds and looking stunning together.

I purchases three frocks, one of which was £6, one of which I have worn 5 times already! I have had photos taken in all of them, all taken by my fella.

This first image was taken on the 1st of May where I performed in Leeds, so not an official photo shoot image but it has a distinct movie still feel to it. I think this frock is handmade 50's dress or that's what it was sold to me as.

Couple of weeks ago me and Nick did a photo shoot around his, the first image was taken in his bathroom, his Mum just decorated and it just totally worked. The second image was taken in a field 10 minutes from Nick's house.
Just been hunting for the next vintage fair locally, there is one in York on Sunday but I am unable to attend, I did however find some cracking shops in Durham when I was there recently, hopefully I will be revisiting them soon with some gal pals. My main joy in vintage hunting is finding something original, one of main issues with living in Berwick-upon-Tweed was that there was a bunch of NewLook/DorothyPerkins clones because they were the only shops women had access to. Made going out very dull. Probably also the slight smugness you can get when someone says 'Ooh where did you get that from?' and you can basically reply 'Well you can't get one because....' :)

Been having a bit of an identity crisis lately, been killing my hair, putting holes in my face, getting ink. Since my boyfriend left, I've been a big depressed lump, I've lost a bit of weight my face has changed. I don't like who I am and don't see any worth in anything I do anymore. I had to stop doing my OU degree because I just can't concentrate on anything the way I used to. My brain is utterly fried by 2010/2011.

I think another reason I have been changing my appearance so much it give people something else something else to ask about apart from my relationship, because essentially nothing has changed for 7 months, I was miserable in August and I am still miserable now. Friends tend to dislike when friends are sad and the easiest solution would be to end it. Question is, Is loving someone enough reason to put myself through this? Well apparently it is. I have other various influences that are currently putting more weight on me at the moment. Sort of lost the ability to cope and even the things that were good, are less good now.

Here are the three me's of the last few months.

Just ready for some good luck now, fed up of crying everyday, fed up of not liking myself and tired from not sleeping on eating. I'm running out of hope and all the stuff I had planned for my future just doesn't seem achievable at the moment. I don't want sympathy, this is my mess and I have to trust there is some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.

Still have performances and shoots to blog. been so rubbish, but I like to document stuff I do so I can look back on in and remember which order stuff happened in.

Images taken by
Nicholas Gray
Richard Shepherd
Jonathan Keys

So I said I'd do a shoot for a latex company called Catalyst Latex and I have to say it was just amazing and I got so excited about their products. It was like a box of joy when their stuff arrived no thanks to City Link. I was actually with the MUA when the box of clothing arrived and my boyfriend had to text me pictures of the items so I could work out which make up would work best.

Then we hit spanking new Mayfield Studio in Newcastle-upon-Tyne city centre, as long as you want plain backgrounds this is the studio for you, people are lovely, nice dressing room facilities, just all good. I had shot there previously with Sam Corban and had really enjoyed that shoot too.

From the moment we arrived there it just went really well, I got through the images really quickly and we got some really good cataloguey type images that, in my opinion, sell the items really well. I also think as I am their sample size that is a really healthy message, as I am a 10-12, not really a fan of ribs in latex anyway personally.

Here are some of my fave images from this shoot and you can buy this lot from Catalysts Etsy store. Was devastated when I posted the stuff back.

Photography by Nicholas Gray
MUA - Alex Pretswell
Clothing - Catalyst Latex

Last month I did a wedding shoot with the lovely Jaye from Tux and Tales Photography, she was looking for models to pose as couples and I kinda emailed and suggested it might be an interesting idea to shoot a more 'Alternative' couple. She agreed so I went on a hunt for a male model who look liked the kind of guy a purple haired recently latex clad Dee La Beau would go for and I found just the fella on Model Mayhem his name is Peter Stanton.

I borrowed one of the gals dresses if I am honest it isn't something I would of chosen myself, I don't plan to wear white nor a dress if I remarry. Next time it will be the intimate affair I wanted last time before it spiraled out of control. I also had a purple and orange bouquet that I thought was cute. I'm not gonna tell you what I want because on the geeks will be impressed. I have no plans to be Leia nor Padme though. I'd also like to be proposed to in a very Saw-esque fashion involving a wolf but I won't bore you with that.

The shoot took place in York and a park just outside of York. Quite a few people thought we were genuinely getting hitched! It is really had to mock intimacy of a wedding day, or even of being in love, I was really lucky with Pete though we were able to have a laugh and it didn't at any point feel uncomfortable.

I am so proud of the images from this shoot, and I have to admit when I received the disc last week it made me cry, probably for a mixture of reasons. Here are my favourite images from this shoot.